imakelar

Are you happy?

John C. Maxwell was once a speaker at a seminar with his wife. He and his wife, Margaret, were asked to speak at several separate sessions. When Maxwell was a speaker, his wife always sat in the front row and listened to her husband’s seminars. Conversely, when Margaret was speaking at one of the sessions, her husband always accompanied her from the front seat.

Once his wife, Margaret, was speaking at one of the seminar sessions on happiness. As usual, Maxwell sat on the front seat and listened. And at the end of the session, all the participants applauded. In that question and answer session, after a few questions, a mother held up her hand to ask, “Miss Margaret does your husband make you happy?”

The whole room fell silent instantly. One good question. And all the participants were curiously waiting for Margaret’s answer. Margaret seemed to think for a while and then replied, “No.”

The whole room was shocked. “No,” she said once again, “John Maxwell can’t make me happy.” The whole room immediately turned to look at Maxwell.

Then, continued Margaret, “John Maxwell was a very good husband. He never gambled, drunk, or played in a mess. He was a loyal man. But, still he can’t make me happy.”

Another participant asking, “Why?”

“Because,” replied Margaret, “no one in the world is responsible for my happiness but myself.”

In other words, the point of Margaret, is that no one else can make you happy. Whether it’s your partner, your best friend, your money, or even your hobbies. None of that can make you happy. Because what can make you happy is God and your own choice to be happy. If you often feel well-off, don’t have feelings of inferiority, are always confident, then you won’t feel sad. Indeed, it is our mindset that determines whether we are happy or not, not external factors.

Whether your life is happy or not is not determined by how rich you are, how beautiful your wife is, or how successful your life is. It’s a matter of choice: whether you choose to be happy or not. We can control ourselves in choosing the response we will give to external conditions.

Have a bessed day and be happy!

Healed From Trust Issues

Trust issue is a condition where it is difficult for a person to easily trust others. Person with lower levels of trust. It can appear within the family, friendship relationships, and with the couple. Trust issues can make a person live in heartache, trauma, fear, confusion, and anger in the long run. As long as this problem is still left in a person, during that time he will not be able to experience joy and a healthy and open relationship with others. Over time, this can lead to bigger problems, such as emotional or physical abuse.

One of the signs a person having a trust issue is when he cannot be fully open to others, always has suspicions and doubts when building close relationships with others.

Of course God wants us to be free from disappointment and heartache. “Live as free men and not as those who abuse that freedom to cloak their wickedness,…”

If we are currently still haunted by a trust issue against someone, try doing these 5 steps:

Be true to yourself.
It will be a problem if we keep our own feelings of disappointment and heartache. The only way to escape this emotion is to honestly acknowledge the disappointment both to oneself, to others, and also to God. If necessary ask for help from those we trust to pray for us to be able to let go of any such disappointment and heartache and be reconciled through forgiveness.
Do not suppress emotions.
Emotions are a gift from God and it is a natural thing for anyone to experience. But to some extent emotions can make us fall into the snare of sin. Proverbs 15:18 says, “The hot-tempered stirs up quarrels, but the patient quench disputations.” When we really need to be angry, God wants us to keep our control of ourselves so as not to commit acts that harm ourselves or others.
Seek help.
If we feel that this feeling of disappointment and heartache is already very disturbing and makes our lives not joyful, it is time for us to seek reinforcements. One of them is that we can seek help through counseling or a psychiatrist.
Learn to forgive.
Forgiveness will make a person free from the burdens that bind emotions. When we strive to forgive others more quickly, then we will also be healed faster from every pain and wound that steals our trust. Ask God to help us to have a humble heart to forgive those who have hurt us. “For if ye forgive the iniquities of men, your heavenly Father shall forgive you also.” (Matthew 6:14).
Learn to trust again.
When we have forgiven, it means we are ready to trust others again. Open ourselves up and trust that when we truly love others sincerely.

God is able to heal us from trust issues that undermine our happiness and relationships with others. So don’t keep our disappointment and heartache, but leave it entirely to God.

90/10 Principle

One morning the father was getting ready to go to work neatly dressed heading to the dinner table to eat breakfast. He was holding a cup of coffee ready to drink, unexpectedly his little girl nudged her father’s hand and the coffee spilled on his shirt. Instantly the father responded to the incident, angering his little girl by snapping to tell her to finish her breakfast.

The mother felt that the father’s attitude was excessive and defended her little girl. Still grumbling the father walked into the room for a change of clothes, immediately returning to the dinner table hoping that his little girl had finished eating her breakfast. It turned out that the little girl was still crying miserably and the meal was not finished which cause her missing the school bus, finally the father had to take the child to school.

Once at school the child no longer waves her hand as usually done. The journey in the direction of the office, which was still far away, made dad speed exceeded the speed limit and finally got a ticket. Arriving at the office he had to present to a large client who was going to give a large order. The prepared documents turned out left on his dirty clothes just now, he lost his big client. What a really bad day!

Returning from work that afternoon he found a disturbed relationship with the child and wife. A day starts with responded badly then complete the whole day.

What’s wrong?

If only the father taken a different stance, maybe the outcome would have been different. If the response is this: “sweetie, next time be more careful okay, look at dad’s clothes getting dirty. Eat the meal so not to miss the school bus. “

With controlled emotions the father changed his clothes and took the documents in his pocket. The child finished the meal and left with the school bus, not forgetting greetings with both parents. The father finishes breakfast and goes to the office in no hurry, when he arrives at the office can prepare the best presentation for his client. Cooperation with clients is also established.

The father returned home feeling happy and was lovingly welcomed by his daughter and wife.

The incident was originally the same, but the end was different. It’s all because of how we react. This “90/10 principle” from Stephen Covey can change our lives or at least change the way we deal with problems. What does the “90/10 Principle” mean?

10% of our lives are determined by what happens to us, but another 90% is determined by how we react (behave) to an event. What does that mean? We don’t have control over the 10% that happens in our lives, but the other 90% is determined by how we react. It’s not a matter of right or wrong, but a response.

For example, we can’t guess when our car suddenly breaks down, the plane we are going to ride is delayed in departure which makes our schedule messy, the company we work for issues unwise policies, and so on. This means that we do not have the power to control 10% of what happens to us. But unlike the 90% again, we are the ones who determine 90% of what happens in our lives, meaning that it is our reactions or attitudes that determine what happens to us next.

Many times the problem afflicts us not because our problem is too big, but the way we deal with it determines its magnitude. By applying the 90/10 principle, we will avoid stress. Whenever we encounter a problem that occurs beyond our control, strive to take a positive attitude. When people say something negative about us, then be wise, because our response to it will determine the direction of our life.

If we control 90% of our lives and another 10% we leave it to God, because it is beyond our control, then our lives will be the way we want them to be.

If God Is Good, Why Bad Things Happen To Good People?

One of the most common questions we often hear is, “If God is good, why should bad things happen to good people?” And that’s right, many good people will experience suffering in their lives.

God doesn’t just allow suffering; God often uses suffering to test His faithful people. That was the event Job experienced, which eventually gave rise to the tried-and-tested character of Job, Job proved FAITHFUL. God also gave Paul to experience the test of his faithfulness through suffering so that he would be HUMBLED and REALIZE that God’s GRACE was more than enough for him.

So, when hard times come and God allows suffering in our lives, what is our response? Do we live it with a bitter and angry heart because we don’t feel we deserve it? Or, we will be grateful for the suffering that has arouse our strength?

Our response when the storms of life hits determines whether God’s glory is revealed, or only the bitterness we will feel.

Cheers good people!

Different,Unique And Valuable

No one among the billions of people on this earth is exactly the same. Everyone must have their own differences and characteristics. Even children born with twins, although they have similarities in appearance, must in many ways be different, because God shapes us in the mother’s womb with its own uniqueness.

Each of us is shaped by God in such a way. “… You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb… because I am wonderfully made; meaning God is actively involved and full of creativity. In fact, He himself pays attention to the baby from the moment he is still in his mother’s womb: from the fetus developing to making plans for his life in the future. God said, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

God also equips us with different gifts: “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us” . Everyone is different and unique. Therefore we do not need to compare ourselves with others or try to be just like them. Some get stressed, disillusioned with themselves and assume that God is unfair to him when they see others seem perfect (in his judgment), and then try in such a way to be just like that person.

It’s perfectly fine to admire and idolize others, but we don’t have to be the same as that person because basically everyone is different. Therefore, no matter what we are, we must feel proud to be ourselves and give thanks to God. Because you are precious in God’s eyes, and honored, and He love you.

Have a blessed day!

Pencil of life

A boy looked at his mother who was writing a letter, and then asked, “Is mama writing a story about our activities? Is this story about me?”

The mother stopped writing letters and said to her son, “Mama is writing about you, but there is more important than the words I am writing, which is the pencil that mama uses. Hopefully you’ll be like this pencil, when you’re grow up.”

The boy was astonished, he observed the pencil, it seemed ordinary.

“But that pencil is the same as any other pencil I’ve ever seen!”

“It depends on how you view things. There are five important points, and if you succeed in implementing them, you will always feel at peace in living your life.

“First: You are capable of doing great things, but never forget that there is a hand guiding you every step of the way. We call it the hand of God. He always guides us according to His will.

“Second: Every now and then mama has to stop writing and scooping up this pencil. This pencil would feel a little sore, but afterwards it became much sharper. Likewise with you, you must learn to endure some suffering and sorrow, for suffering and sorrow will make you a better person.

“Third: This pencil doesn’t mind if we use the eraser to eliminate the mistakes we made. It means, it’s okay if we fix something we’ve done. We’re on the right path to justice.

“Fourth: The most important thing on a pencil is not the outside, but the graphite material inside. So, always pay attention to what’s going on inside you.

“And the fifth: This pencil always leaves a mark. So is what you do. You have to know that everything you do in your life will leave a mark, so try to be aware of that in your every action and leave a good mark.”

Have a fruitful day!

Work Vigorously, Work Smartly And Win.

Inside the dark canal lived two rats. One day these two rats saw a piece of cheese bread from the hole of a ditch, but unfortunately the sewer hole was covered by very strong iron bars.

The two rats tried their best to destroy the iron bars with their sharp teeth. But the bars were too hard to break.

They stopped and began to think how to get to the cheese bread.

The first rat said in his heart, “I will not give up, I will destroy those iron bars with all my strength. Unyielding is the foundation of success!”

The second rat was pensive and thought, “I’m going to lose all my teeth if I’m desperate to bite those bars. It’s good if I just take another path to get that cheese bread.”

Then the first rat got up and started biting the bars again with all his might while the second rat chose to find another way.

Seeing the second rat leave, the first rat began to mock ; “You are easily to give up and not persistence, where is it possible that you can succeed in your life?”

The second rat didn’t care about the ridicule, he retreated looking for another way to the cheese bread place.

Eventually the second rat managed to gain its way to the cheese bread place while the first rat was exhausted and crumbled its teeth from biting the bars.

In working, we do need a great spirit to motivate ourselves. However, working with great zeal is not enough. We also need to work in a smart way.

The life we live is a war and the goal of it all is of course victory. Work is a war to be won. All is indeed passionate, but if it is not accompanied by intelligence and planning, defeat is what happens.

Working vigorously is not enough, we must work in a smart way. Work vigorously, work smartly, and then we will win.

Wise strategy is necessary to wage war, and with many astute advisers you’ll see the path to victory more clearly.

Infinite Patience

Man and his quality of life are judged by what he does but especially by the encouragement of everything he does.

Just as the motivation for his actions, so too is the quality of man’s life measured by the response given to every matter he faces.

Reason that drives man’s actions and responds to every thing that happens; will point more to the work of the brain to digest everything whereas the mind is more to the heart that perceives all things.

The quality of human action consists of right and wrong, good and bad, therefore with reason let it be sought that everything that happens does not become a challenge of patience to others, everything done is good and right and beneficial to others.

On the other hand, a quality human being is a human being who is able to be patient, with patience who is indeed long-suffering, when others do something wrong or even bad and always give place to forgive others.

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

Caught In A Blizzard

Two men were trapped by a blizzard in the mountains. They were forced to abandon the vehicles they were using in search of shelter.

After much effort, they found a place and luckily there were a few pieces of wood where they could warm their bodies.

But unfortunately they didn’t have anything to start the fire. They were almost desperate, fortunately one of them came up with an idea, they still had banknotes in their wallets.

Soon the sheets of banknotes were burned among the pieces of wood.

Eventually the fire burns and they can warm up, this helps them survive the freezing temperatures until help comes.

Sometimes God allows circumstances in which we can place our possessions as they should, just like the two men. They realize that the money in their pockets is not worth the loss of life.

Likewise, we as believers, should have the treasures and money we can have in this world, no matter how much is not worth eternal life. So let us not exchange that eternal treasure for something mortal.

Money is a facility God has given us so that we can effectively serve Him. Lest we make God’s money over our lives.

“Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.”

Lesson From Iron

A piece of iron for $2.50.

If forged into a horseshoe, the price would be $5.0.

If it is forged into a needle, the price will rise to $17.

If it is forged and shaped into a knife, the price will double to $35.

If formed into a Rolex watch needle, the price jumps again to $125,000

Any forging and formation of such iron will increase its selling value. The more forged, beaten, and burned, the higher the value.

So it is with humans. If we experience many formations, forging, and trials, then the noble character that exists within us is increasingly formed.

Just enjoy the process. Respond correctly in obedience and sincerity, and let that perseverance bear ripe fruit that will bring us life change.

Remember that the gold was forged and tested in the fire. Once we hold the test then we will sparkle like beautiful gold.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you fall into various temptations, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. Let endurance have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.